The Professor was bemused by this color photocopy someone posted on Iowa’s bulletin board in the basement of the Noakes. “I hope,” he announced loudly to all the part time employees and library riffraff who were lurking around the doorway of the Dreaded Basement Breakroom, drinking coffee and waiting to see his reaction, “that this is not somebody’s way of suggesting I grow a large drooping mustache. Because that is just not on.”
Everyone shuddered at the thought. Except for his rather unfortunate sideburns, the Professor was always meticulously clean shaven down to the collar (literally, in his case), but anyone who had ever seen him without a shirt on (which was everyone, really, necessary transformations being what they were) knew that if he relaxed his standards even for a day or two, a large drooping mustache would be the least of their problems.
“You could start carrying a tomahawk to use on people who don’t read their shelves regularly,” suggested Iowa.
“Of course not. Blood would be very bad for the bindings. I’ll just poison the coffee. That way I could get all the slackers at once.” For some reason that sent everyone off to do their shelving, leaving Iowa and the Professor standing in front of the bulletin board. Iowa was thinking about writing a paper about wolfman characters in English penny dreadfuls. But the way the Professor was twisting his upper lip while looking at his reflection in a laminated notice to turn off unused lights made her pretty sure he was thinking about how he’d look with that mustache.
(read the Noakes Library tumblr here.)